KA's 70th Annual Hunger Games

 

           

            “And welcome back!” Naeunicorn and Shinsadong Squirrel announces, smiling wide.

            “It is the 70^th Annual Hunger Games!” SS says.

            “Last year was a fun year,” Naeunicorn adds. “Except for the fact Krystal died and I have no SungStal babies now!” She pouts.

            “This year we have volunteer tributes. Six to be exact! And we have a new Game Maker!~”

            “Last year was Nicole unnie and this year is Sunny unnie,” Naeunicorn announces. “This is a special year, too. There will be ‘backups’ for every district. When one or both of the tributes die, the backup will go in and fight.”

            “Who got replaced?” SS asked Naeunicorn.

            “Both tributes from 1 got replaced. It was Sungmin and Bora and now it is Jiyoon and Minho. Their backup is Nana. Both tributes from 2 got replaced. It was Zinger and Jay and now it is Luna and D.O. Their backup is…Sehun. Then Yuri from 3 got replaced by Yoona. Chorong from 9 got replaced by Bomi. My unnies~”

            “I already know who I am rooting for!~” SS cheers, clapping her hands.

            “I don’t. DID YOU KNOW SUNGYEOL IS HERE THIS YEAR? KRYSTAL SHOULD HAVE ONE! THEN SUNGYEOL COULD WIN AND THEN-“ Krystal’s spirit throws a microwave at Naeun. Naeun screams and runs out of the room. SS holds up her ‘Krystal Umma FTW’ banner and smiles.

            “As we were saying,” SS puts her banner away, “We have extra tributes this year. I’ll read off each District and their backups once they come through the doors. Which should be…any second!~” She throws confetti. Music starts playing and the main gate doors open, revealing the tributes lined up in their carriage thingies.

            First is District 1 – Jiyoon and Minho. They are dressed sparkly, diamond-like outfits. They are wearing diamond crowns too. “Jiyoon and Minho’s backup will be Nana.”

            District two has Luna and D.O. They are wearing metal outfits. “Luna and Mr. Big Eyes’ backup is Sehun.”

            District 3 has Yoona and Sungyeol dressed as laptops. “Yoona and Sungyeol Appa’s backup is Kikwang.”

            District 4 has Jiyeon and Rain dressed as giant shrimp. “Rain and Jiyeon’s backup is Gina. Does anyone else feel like eating the tributes with cocktail sauce?” SS holds up a bottle of cocktail sauce and is drooling. Naeunicorn appears beside her and is drooling as well. She lifts up a fork and knife.

            District 5 is Hyeri and Sunggyu dressed as electrical cords. “Sunggyu and Hyeri are backed up by Donghae.” Naeunicorn looks at SS, “Are we allowed to have animals in the Hunger Games? I mean, Sunggyu is a hamster…and Donghae is a fish. Shouldn’t he be in District 4?”

            “Or eaten.”

            District 6 has Boa and Kai dressed as giant wheels. “Kai and BoA are backed up by Daehyun.”

            “DAEHYUN?!” Naeunicorn clings to the screen. “MY BIAS!”

            District 7 is Ga-In and Joon dressed as sheets of paper with glitter on them. “Joon and Ga-In’s backup is Jihyun.”

            District 8 is Seohyun and Taemin dressed as quilts. They are multi-coloured and sparkly, too. “Seohyun and Taemin’s backup is Lizzy.”

            District 9 is Bomi and Himchan. They are dressed in brown suits with seeds on them and different types of grain glued to them. “Bomi and Himchan’s backup is Chen.”

            District 10 is Suzy and Chaejin dressed as pigs. “The pigs-I mean-Chaejin and Suzy are dressed as-I mean-their backup is a pig-“

            “Their backup is Amber unnie!” Naeunicorn says into the microphone.

            “I want bacon.”

            “He died last year.”

            “No, I mean…Nevermind.”

            District 11 is Ailee and CAP. They are dressed as farmers. “Ailee and CAP’s backup is Victoria.”

            Finally District 12 comes out. It is Min and Onew dressed in coal miner’s outfits. “Min and Onew’s backup is Jonghyun.”

           “This year is going to be exciting!” Naeunicorn says loudly, holding up her fork and knife. “Yummy, too!”

..•.¸¸•´¯`•.¸¸.ஐ Training ஐ..•.¸¸•´¯`•.¸¸.

            The mentors decide to help out the tributes and the backups this year. Each group is in a little space in the training room. Naeunicorn and Shinsadong Squirrel are watching everyone with the Game Maker, Sunny, and the President, CL.

           “Look! I see mah Tia!” SS points at Tia, who is with her group: Min, Onew, Jonghyun, and Sohyun. Sohyun won the 42^nd Hunger Games. She is immortal, like the other mentors. Tia hears SS yell and waves at her. “Yay!~”

            “I bet it is awkward for some of the couples,” Naeunicorn tells SS. SS nods.

            “Will you two shut up?” PCL asks the two. They look at her. “I can always get two new announcers.” They pretend to zip their lips.

            They watch as the tributes, mentor(s), and backups all talk and train. Naeunicorn and SS secretly texted each other the entire time, betting on who would survive and die first. Naeunicorn bets on Daehyun. SS can’t make up her mind, so gives up and lets Naeunicorn think Daehyun will win.

            The passing days are spent with the tributes and backups training. PCL and Sunny judge them. Since each tribute gets a number based on how good they are (ranked 0 to 12, 0 being the worst, 12 being the best), they need to focus. When the scores appear, everyone is shocked.

Ø  Jiyoon (9) & Minho (8) ; Nana (6)

Ø  Luna (8) & D.O (11) ; Sehun (8)

Ø  Yoona (5) & Sungyeol (9)  ; Kikwang (6)

Ø  Jiyeon (4) & Rain (8) ; Gina (4)

Ø  Hyeri (5) &Sunggyu (2) ; Donghae (6)

Ø  BoA (6) & Kai (10) ; Daehyun (8)

Ø  Ga-In (7) & Joon (10) ; Jihyun (2)

Ø  Seohyun (1) & Taemin (5) ; Lizzy (5)

Ø  Bomi (5) & Himchan (3); Chen (9)

Ø  Suzy (7) & Chaejin (6) ; Amber (9)

Ø  Ailee (8) & CAP (9) ; Victoria (7)

Ø  Min (7) & Onew (3) ; Jonghyun (8)

Before the tributes head up to the arena, each mentor decides to give them some encouraging words.

Minzy looks at Jiyoon and Minho and sighs, “If one of you win, I'll buy you cake. But if you lose, I'll meet you in Hell."  Minho’s eyes widen as Jiyoon brushes her mentor’s words off. She knows she will win.

Luhan places his hands on D.O and Luna’s shoulders and smiles. “You’ll win this. I know you will. How do I know?” He leans backs and flips his hair. “It’s because I’m a deer.”

Seyong stands with his hands on his hips. “Be sexy no matter what!" Yoona and Sungyeol nod their heads vigorously.

Suho smiles at the two before him – Jiyeon and Rain – and says, “You’ll both do extremely well!~ I know it. Just avoid the farting birds.” He leans in, his eyes wide and he looks a tiny bit crazy. More like psycho, but let’s not judge.  “They will destroy you!”

Hyeri and Sunggyu blink as Dongwoo paces the floor. He stops and looks at them. "Win or lose...I don't really care." Such encouraging words.

Tiffany is hugging Boa and Kai as tight as she possibly can. “Make sure to NOT die. Please!” The guards have to come in and pry her off so they can get in the shoot thingy to lift them above ground. “Death isn’t an option!”

Jessica looks at Ga-In and Joon. She doesn’t know what to say exactly, so she just smiles. “You’ll both be fine~” she coos. “Don’t worry.”

Taemin is standing behind Seohyun, scared. Siwon and Hwayoung watch the two before Siwon clears his throat. “Avoid everyone. The Careers will kill them for you. Make sure to hide. Don’t-“ Hwayoung pushes Siwon aside. "Do whatever. Just try not dying. HA! Just kidding. I already know you're going to die...sucks for you!" she says to the two before her. Siwon sighs.

Lay pats Bomi and Himchan’s heads. Bomi looks for freaked out by the action than Himchan does, who is grinning and leaning in so Lay can reach his head better. "If you see a unicorn, save it.” Both nod. “Make sure it doesn't die! If you die, I will kill you myself."

Hyojin puffs her cheeks as she watches Suzy and Chaejin shift uncomfortably. They look scared. “Don’t die,” she speaks up and they look at her, “or else I will kick you out with my special shoes.” She points to her shiny, frog shaped shoes she is wearing.

Ailee and CAP wait for Ricky to speak. He just stands there, frozen. Ailee waves her hand in front of her mentor. “Uh…Okay so…uhm…” He jumps forward and clings to the two. “JUST DON’T DIE OKAY?! I WON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO IF YOU DIE!” And for the second time that day, the guards have to pull a mentor from their tributes. They laugh about this later.

“Put that down!” Min slaps Onew’s hand, making him drop his chicken. Sohyun sighs and waggles a finger as Onew goes to pick the chicken up from the ground. “You have to stay alive, remember who the enemy is, and get people to like you.” Sohyun tells the two, smiling kindly. Tia lets out a loud sob. “Mostly stay alive.” Another sob is heard. Sohyun tapes Tia’s mouth shut. “Good-“ Tia runs forward and clings to the two tributes, still crying. And for the third time that day, the guards have to pull a mentor off of the tributes.

When it comes down to the countdown, all 24 are in a circle around the white Cornucopia. The arena is filled with snow, ice, ice lakes and rivers, a white forest, and steep mountains. Everyone is dressed in all white too.

“3…2…1.”

      Everyone races to their desired destination. Jiyoon and Minho reach the weapons first, grabbing everything they can and killing whoever gets near them. Luna and D.O are the other two that start killing. Actually, Luna is killing them while D.O hands her the weapons, eyes as big as ever and barely blinking.

      In the midst of battle, when D.O isn’t paying attention, he accidentally stabs a sword into Luna’s back. He blinks and lets go of the sword, watching Luna collapse. “I…” He looks around to make sure no one saw that. “I did not do that!” He takes off running away from the dead body, flailing his arms in the process.

      “Wow! Did you see that?” Naeunicorn comments, pointing at the screen with the chicken leg she got off of the floor (yes, the one Onew dropped).

      “D.O killed Luna,” SS confirms.

      “No! I saw a penguin!” Naeunicorn shouts, smiling wide.

     

      “And the first ones to die are Rain, from 4, Chaejin from 10, Boa from 6, Bomi from 9, Jiyeon from 4, Suzy from 10-“

      “SEND IN 4 AND 10’s BACK-“

      “They’re not doing that until later, Unnie.”

      “Oh. CONTINUE ON!” Naeunicorn throws the chicken bone.

      “And Luna from 2.”

      While the game continues on, some of the mentors are dealing with the losses in their own way…

      “I told them.” Suho sighs, petting his stuffed shrimp. “No one ever listens to me.”

      “Guess I have to get my special shoes ready,” Hyojin says happily.

      “At least a unicorn didn’t die!” Lay says, stuffing marshmallows into his mouth.

      “Psh. I knew Luna would die!” Luhan says, flipping his hair. “Deer know these things.”

      “WHY?! WHY DID SHE HAVE TO DIE? NO!” Tiffany yells, clinging to the door. The guards are trying to pull her away. “LET ME GO GET HER! NO!”

      Jiyoon and Minho are sitting on the bank of the lake. There is a small hole in front of them where they have been catching fish. Jiyoon is holding a trident, spinning it in her hands. "I wonder where D.O went to," she says to Minho. Minho eats another piece of raw fish into his mouth as he looks at her, shrugging. D.O was a part of their Career group until the goat-potato chased them. D.O had come back to them after killing Luna- I mean…after the sword in his hand slipped and plunged itself into Luna’s back. They have no idea where he went to.

Jiyoon stands and walks towards the snowy forest. Minho can care less where she goes. More food for him. She walks at least four miles until she stumbles across a sleeping Seohyun. She smiles evilly before stabbing Seohyun's neck with the trident, killing her in her sleep. Jiyoon pulls the trident out and continues her journey.

      Back at the place Minho is he is holding the dead fish up and talking to it. “AH!” Minho throws the fish and looks around for the source of the sound. Suddenly, I giant white chicken runs by being rode by Onew.

      “Huh,” Minho mutters. He stands and starts chasing the chicken and Onew.

“Who would’ve guessed there would be a giant chicken in an artic world,” Naeunicorn says.

      “Hey!” SS shouts, pointing at the screen. Naeunicorn looks up and spots a goat-potato wobbling around. “Didn’t you create that?”

      “Why yes,” Naeunicorn leans back in her chair and smiles smugly, “I did create that sexy beast.” SS gives her a weird look. “It will kill all-“ Naeunicorn stops talking as the goat-potato walks up to Sungyeol, who is trying to climb an iceberg, and headbutts his back. When Sungyeol falls off the iceberg and is gasping for air, the goat-potato sits on him and crushes him. "MY BROTHERRRRRRRRRR!" Naeun starts crying. "MY NIECES AND NEPHEWS!" Krystal’s spirit appears and throws a bed at Naeun. Naeun keeps crying as the bed squishes her. SS holds up her 'Krystal Umma FTW' banner.

      “How do you think I feel? That was my Appa!” SS yells at Naeunicorn. “Kidding. That bish told me I could die. SERVES YOU RIGHT, APPA! HAHA!” SS throws her drink at the large screen. Krystal throws another bed, except at SS, and hits her. “Ow.” SS holds up her ‘Krystal Umma FTW’ banner as she is being squished.

..•.¸¸•´¯`•.¸¸.ஐ Day Two ஐ..•.¸¸•´¯`•.¸¸.

      The morning is a quiet one. Of course, Onew and his chicken are still on the run and Jiyoon is constantly yelling and stabbing things in hopes they are humans. It isn’t until afternoon that another tribute dies.

      “Hello pretty squid!” CAP says, patting the water. There is a giant squid below the water’s surface, staring at CAP. “I’m CAP.”

      “He’s totally seducing that squid,” Naeunicorn tells SS. SS nods in agreement.

      As a result of CAP’s seduction, the squid slowly comes out of the water…AND EATS THAT BISH. The squid smiles and dives back into the water.

      “I totally called that,” Naeunicorn says.

     

“OH MY GOD! HE DIED?! LET ME DIE! LET ME-“ Ricky gets cut off Suho. “Shh!” Suho whispers to him. “The aliens might hear you and come abduct you!” Ricky whimpers and sulks. Suho isn’t wrong though. Just as he says that, Luhan and Lay walk by. The aliens. Suho neglects to realize he is one, too, though. They all hide their identities by claiming to be foods or animals. Luhan is a deer, Lay is a unicorn, and Suho is…some kind of sauce. Even some of the tributes are aliens!

     

      “Let’s take some time to remember last year’s tributes, shall we?” SS asks Naeunicorn. She is currently snoring. Krystal throws a microwave at her and grins evilly, floating away. Naeunicorn sits up. “YEAH!” she yells.

      “Name the Careers,” SS tells her.

      “Nara, the rapist, L.Joe, the squishy blob, Eunji unnie, and Chanyeol-“

      “The flaming badge oven that burns people.”

      “And then there was Hyuna unnie.”

      “And Simon.”

      “BAEKYEOL!”

      “Krystal Umma!~”

      “Kris, the vampire.”

      “Oh look!”

      They look at the screen. Ga-In is walking down a steep slope of snow. She quietly steps onto the ice lake. All of a sudden, Himchan appears with a makeshift ice crown and an ice wand. He waves it around and smiles widely. "Why hello there!" he says in a girly voice. "I am princess Himchan!~" He waves the wand around and his smile turns into a creepy one. "I'm here to kill you~~" He flips his hair and starts shining brightly. Ga-In's eyes start to burn and she collapses on the ice lake. Himchan skips around her in circles quietly singing, "I whip my hair back and forth!~ I whip my hair back and forth!~" whilst flipping his hair. Soon, Ga-In dies. Himchan skips down the lake happily. Himchan falls flat on his face as he slips on a banana peel. “Ow! My perfect face!”

      “Happy cows make more milk!” Naeunicorn shouts at the screen. We shall never question her wise words.

      As the day passes by, no one else dies. So, the third day comes.

            ..•.¸¸•´¯`•.¸¸.ஐ  Day Three ஐ..•.¸¸•´¯`•.¸¸.

      Ailee dies first. She ran into a wall. And these vicious vines appeared out of thin air and wrapped themselves around her and crushed her! And then this bear-pony appeared! It was a horse with a bear head and bear claws and it pranced around her and then pooped on her head. ouo

      Ricky had another mental breakdown from this. He had to be put in an insane asylum. No one will ever visit him. Except his bestie, when she isn’t busy hosting the Hunger Games. SORRY TIGER BESTIE.

      “I bet Yoona unnie dies,” Naeunicorn says. “And Hyeri and Sunggyu and Joon and Kai-“

      “They will all die.” SS lets out an evil laugh. This time Naeunicorn is the one looking at her weird.

      “ATTENTION TRIBUTES!” PCL’s voice is heard. “THE BACKUPS WILL NOW BE REALEASED. HAVE FUN!~”

      “DAEHYUN!!!~” Naeunicorn screams, standing up and jumping up and down. Minhyuk appears behind her and throws a blender at her. Krystal holds up a ‘Minhyuk FTW’ banner. SS claps.

     

All twelve backups are released into a small cave. Amber, with her ninja like skills, grabs a rubber hammer and kills everyone but Jonghyun and Daehyun. She runs out of the cave quickly and down the slope. Daehyun and Jonghyun throw rocks at each other. These rocks are actually marshmallows that explode once they hit something. Daehyun ends up killing Jonghyun when he hits him in the face with a marshmallow rock. Daehyun runs out of the cave and down the slope; he falls and rolls down it.

      “That’s my Daehyun!” Naeunicorn shouts.

      Naeunicorn walks over to Tiffany and taps her shoulder repeatedly, grinning. Tiffany looks at her. "Yeah?"

"Can you send something to Daehyun? It will help him!"

"What is it?"

It is the most incredible, helpful, and aweshum thing on the entire planet. Naeunicorn knows this and knows she has to send it to him.

"...A banana."

Tiffany frowns. "No. Why should I?"

"BECAUSE DAEHYUN IS SESSHI!" Naeunicorn tugs on Tiffany's sleeve and pouts. "PLEASE?!"

"No."

Naeunicorn pouts and carries her banana back to the announcer’s room. Before she goes in, she looks around and sneaks into the door next to it - the room where you send stuff. She hands the banana to one of the guys. "Can you send this for Tiffany unnie?" He nods and takes the banana. Naeunicorn writes on a note 'I LOVE YOU FOREVER MY ULTIMATE BIAS <3' and hands it to him as well. She smiles and runs back out of the room and into the announcers’ room. "Yay!"

      A small container appears in front of Daehyun as he comes to a stop from rolling. He reads the note ‘I LOVE YOU FOREVER MY ULTIMATE BIAS<3’. He opens the container and pulls out a banana. He peels it and takes a bite. Suddenly his stands up and turns into a wolf. Not just any wolf! A wolf-polar bear! A white wolf-polar bear! With sparkles and shiny teeth! Teeth that will murder everyone else. Mwhahahaha.

..•.¸¸•´¯`•.¸¸.ஐ  Day Four ஐ..•.¸¸•´¯`•.¸¸.

      Taemin is climbing up an iceberg. He is freezing and near death. As he reaches the top, D.O is sitting there, eating squid (the same squid that ate CAP). Taemin stops and stares at him. D.O sees him from the corner or his eye and looks at Taemin. His eyes widen even more than before!  

   O_O

Suddenly D.O's eyes become red and lasers shoot out and zap Taemin. Taemin is now dead. He falls into the water and the cannon sounds. D.O goes back to eating his squid. "Nyahahaha~ My squid." He huggles the squid and smiles.

      “I wasn’t scared of Mr. Big Eyes,” SS starts, “but…NOW I AM! WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT?!”

      “Kids, that’s what happens when you do drugs!” Naeunicorn says to the camera.

..•.¸¸•´¯`•.¸¸.ஐ  Day Eight ஐ..•.¸¸•´¯`•.¸¸.

      Jiyoon manages to find Hyeri, Yoona, Joon, and Min in the course of the past four days. By this time, her clothes are stained red and she has pulled all of her hair out. She even ended up eating Joon. Because that’s what normal people do.

      Minho caught up with Onew and his giant chicken. The chicken had a heart attack and Onew decided to eat it. Minho waited for him to try sleeping and pounced on him. Minho sits on Onew, squishing him. "Don't touch my chicken," Onew says, dying. He holds up a rock and points to it. "This is my chicken." He stuffs it into his mouth. Minho starts bouncing up and down and eventually Onew chokes on the rock and dies.

      Minho rushes over to the chicken and crawls inside of it, smiling and cuddling with its organs. District 1 has normal tributes; hugging chicken’s guts and pulling their hair out. Normal.

      As a result of both District 12 tributes dying, Tia also has a mental breakdown and is now in the same insane asylum as Ricky. No one visits her either, except Krystal. Since Krystal is dead, everyone really thinks Tia’s gone crazy once she mentions her dead mother’s visits.

      “All that is left,” Naeunicorn says dramatically, leaning forward and sighing, “is our District 1 tributes, D.O, Sunggyu-“

      “The hamster,” SS adds.

      “Kai-“

      “He’s an alien!”

      “And Himchan!”

      “He’s a princess!~”

      They throw confetti.

      “Don’t forget Amber unnie,” SS says.

      “AND DAEHYUN!” Guess who throws something at her this time? ”OW! Shinsadong Squirrel! That was a marshmallow! That hurt really, really, really bad!”

      A cannon sounds an hour later. It is for Amber. She falls off of a cliff, into sharp, pointy rocks, and dies. Just kidding. After she falls into the rocks, sharks smell her blood and eat her for lunch. I bet she tastes like gummy worms.

     

     

..•.¸¸•´¯`•.¸¸.ஐ  Day Eight ஐ..•.¸¸•´¯`•.¸¸.

      Sunggyu and Kai are battling one another. Just as Kai tries to stab Sunggyu in the face, Daehyun – the now sparkly wolf-polar bear – jumps out and bites both of their heads off, nomming on them like chew toys.

      “ATTENTION TRIBUTES!” PCL’s annoying voice is heard once again. LOVE YOU! “THERE WILL BE FEAST TODAY. GO AND KILL EACH OTHER. THE GIFTS ARE SPECIAL!”

      The gifts are special. Jiyoon and Minho’s gifts are more weapons and crazy pills, D.O’s is a chill pill, since he tends to freak out and spazz a lot, Himchan’s is a mirror, and Daehyun’s is a dog treat (with a magical potion in it to turn him back into a human).

      All the tributes reach the Cornucopia. Even though they are ready to kill each other and get the game over with, music starts playing from the Cornucopia. Not just any music, either!

“OPPA GANGNAM STYLE! OP-OP-OP-OPPA GANGNAM STYLE!”

      All of the tributes start doing the horse dance as they emerge from the white forest. SS and Naeunicorn do, too.

“EHHHHHHHHHHH~ SEXY LADY!~”

      Himchan starts leaping here and there, flapping his arms like a bird. Daehyun chases him and eats him. The music keeps playing and bricks start falling from the air. D.O screams like a girl and runs into the Cornucopia. Daehyun eats his bag with the treats in it, turning him back into a human.

      A fire-breathing gummy bear appears as Sexy Love comes on.

“SEXY NUN, SEXY KO, SEXY IP, SEXY LOVE!”

      The fire-breathing gummy bear burns Minho. Jiyoon and Daehyun keep dancing to Sexy Love while D.O hides. The gummy bear then burns Jiyoon. The music part starts playing near the end and Daehyun poses. The gummy bear walks in front of him.

      “OH NOOOOO!” Naeunicorn screams. “NOT MY DAEHYUNNIE!”

      Daehyun’s eyes widen. EXID’s I Feel Good starts playing.

“I’m feeeeeeling it. And I feel goooooood~”

      The cannon sounds.

      “ATTENTION EVERYONE! THE 70^TH ANNUAL HUNGER GAMES’ WINNER IS DISTRICT 2’S D.O!” D.O steps out of the Cornucopia, eating chips, as the gummy bear appears.

      “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!” Naeunicorn cries in her sad little corner again. SS turns to the camera. “This kids, is what happens when you do drugs…you win stuff! WINNING!” She throws confetti.

      So D.O wins. He goes on to be a mentor with Luhan. That makes four aliens mentoring people now. A deer, a donut, a unicorn, and a sauce angel person. Naeunicorn ends up never recovering from the loss of Daehyun and is sent to the insane asylum with Ricky and Tia. There they play games, build forts, and paint unicorns and bunnies on the walls.

      “See you guys next year for the 71^st Annual Hunger Games! And may the odds be ever in your favour~” SS waves at the camera.